Not Alone 

Written By Nathan Esser

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18

During the pandemic, I went through a difficult period. I tried finding acting roles but didn’t get cast in Zoom plays because I was often pigeonholed to ensemble parts. Prior to COVID, I was cast in lead and supporting roles in short films and web series. While I managed to have a narrating role for a Christmas play in 2021, and reprised my role for a sequel to a previous independent film, business was still slow.

In the aftermath of the pandemic, I had to consider a backup plan when acting was slow. I did some odd jobs until I started building administrative experience at law firms and CPA offices. 

I had also been rejected in my personal life. There were times that I was alone and in tears, wondering if I would ever be loved and have friends who understood my pain. Ultimately, when I posted about the role for the independent film on Facebook, Shawn reached out at church and asked me about it. I gave him the full details. As Garrick was preaching that night, I couldn’t help but think about my conversation with Shawn, realizing there are people who care. I worshipped like I never did before. I felt like the Spirit of God had touched me. Afterward, I went to the bathroom and cried, realizing that I should once again give it to God. That night, I reaffirmed my faith.

I was convinced that before the pandemic, I wanted to have God in my heart, but I ended up distracted with life and I often got vulnerable due to deep depression. 

Nowadays, I look back to God who gave me divine intervention that night. God is in my heart, but I also have a desire to serve Him. It was His grace that transformed me and it reminded me that I am not alone. He even provided when I was at my worst. 

Even though it wasn’t what I hoped for, I received the clarity that I needed and a divine family. 

God is omniscient, meaning “all-knowing.” God knows exactly how we feel and what we experience. We may struggle with our losses, but God does intervene. He brings the people we need into our lives so we are aware of never feeling alone. He shows us who He wants us to be.

Reflective Question
for the Day

Did God provide when you were in your lowest situations? 

Reflect on what God blessed you with and pray for what is heavy in your heart. 
Give it to God for He is our comforter and He loves you as He loved me.

Nathan Esser looks forward to seeing the Seaside Christmas Lights located in Torrance, California, and has been doing so every year, blaring Christmas music on foot, and wearing an ugly Christmas sweater with a Christmas lights necklace. His favorite place to connect with God is at the beach and that is not just about riding his bike on the strand on most weekends. Regarding Christmas movies, he loves them equally, even Hallmark movies. But at the end of the day, Nathan considers The Muppet Christmas Carol at the top of his Top 5 Christmas Movie List. His favorite album this year is The Auditorium Vol. 1 by Common and Pete Rock.