A Thrill of Hope
By Steve Stout
“But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my savior;
my God will hear me.”
Micah 7:7
Hope is complicated. Yes, hope is a warm, fuzzy word, but often, we cling to it when we're at our lowest points. For years, my wife and I hoped for a child. We made appointments with fertility doctors to see if there was a biological issue preventing us from becoming parents. After dozens of unsuccessful appointments, blood tests for Michelle, and test results that were either unclear or indescribable, we had no concrete answers. We tried IUIs a few times and never got a positive result. Throughout this process, there were more questions than answers. Was I supposed to be a father? If so, did it matter if the child was biologically related to me? Hope was dwindling.
Fortunately, Michelle found a group at a nearby church for couples who were experiencing infertility. In this group, I was absolutely laid out by the stories. Four other couples were going through the same thing. Some were unsure if their prior cancer treatments meant pregnancy was impossible. Beyond the pain, one thing linked all of us. We all had hope that God would work through the seemingly impossible and bring a new life into our families.
Hope can be painful. Ironically, hope can also feel hopeless. But hope is also radical. It helps keep your eyes up when the road feels impassible, and it keeps you warm even through the tears of yet another negative pregnancy test.
Throughout the years of struggle, Michelle and I never gave up that last ember of hope. As the support group continued, one of our fellow members became pregnant. Just a few weeks ago, we celebrated her son’s second birthday. Her pregnancy announcement could have been a tough thing to experience as we kept having no success, but instead, hope was renewed in me. God was moving in our smallest of small groups.
We waited in hope, secure in the knowledge that our God heard us. We trusted His will and hoped that it aligned with our dreams. We went from the IUI procedure to a cycle of medicines and shots in preparation for IVF. A couple of months after we heard about our new friend’s pregnancy, we had a successful embryo transfer. Michelle was pregnant. The pregnancy went as well as it could possibly go, considering all the circumstances.
If you have been around Coastline Covenant in the past couple of years, you know the end of this chapter of our story. We waited for God our Savior, knowing that he heard us and hoped his answer matched our own hopes. In February, we celebrate the second birthday of our own son.
Fortunately, Michelle found a group at a nearby church for couples who were experiencing infertility. In this group, I was absolutely laid out by the stories. Four other couples were going through the same thing. Some were unsure if their prior cancer treatments meant pregnancy was impossible. Beyond the pain, one thing linked all of us. We all had hope that God would work through the seemingly impossible and bring a new life into our families.
Hope can be painful. Ironically, hope can also feel hopeless. But hope is also radical. It helps keep your eyes up when the road feels impassible, and it keeps you warm even through the tears of yet another negative pregnancy test.
Throughout the years of struggle, Michelle and I never gave up that last ember of hope. As the support group continued, one of our fellow members became pregnant. Just a few weeks ago, we celebrated her son’s second birthday. Her pregnancy announcement could have been a tough thing to experience as we kept having no success, but instead, hope was renewed in me. God was moving in our smallest of small groups.
We waited in hope, secure in the knowledge that our God heard us. We trusted His will and hoped that it aligned with our dreams. We went from the IUI procedure to a cycle of medicines and shots in preparation for IVF. A couple of months after we heard about our new friend’s pregnancy, we had a successful embryo transfer. Michelle was pregnant. The pregnancy went as well as it could possibly go, considering all the circumstances.
If you have been around Coastline Covenant in the past couple of years, you know the end of this chapter of our story. We waited for God our Savior, knowing that he heard us and hoped his answer matched our own hopes. In February, we celebrate the second birthday of our own son.
Reflective Question for the Day
What is something in your life with dissipating hope?
Have you shared this hope with any other believers?
How can you find and utilize community to keep your hope strong when you can’t carry it alone any longer?
Steve Stout teaches math at San Pedro High’s STEAM Magnet. In his spare time, he enjoys reading books, watching movies, and spending time with his little boy.